Always Want What You Don't Understand

So it's 2008. So last night was fun.
I usually stay home with family so it's the first time I've been out for new years haha.
I know, I'm lame. No new years kiss this year but I spent it with the people I care about.
I didn't see the boy, but who cares? I can honestly say that I don't care anymore.
I'm not going to continue to try and try for nothing.
Apparently he makes all the calls because it's like he's pushing me away.
I say that I want to be done with him but I know that if I was in the position to be with him that I would give in. I don't understand why. Why can't I be stronger?
I want to be, and I hate knowing I'll give in just because this has happened before.
He keeps changing his mind too much. He apparently likes me BUT: i never see him, he doesn't talk to me anymore really (unless I initiate a convo), and he's always busy with himself.
I don't know where this is going, it was going in a good direction before and we were probably going to end up together for the summer. That still might happen but it's not necessarily going good right now in my eyes. He might just be oblivious to these things and nothing phases him but I'm through giving him the benefit of the doubt.
I can do better and if he doesn't appreciate me and the effort I'm putting in to try and keep things good, then i'll find someone who does. There are plenty of god guys out there who would, I just have to find them.


UGH, glad that's out haha.


2008 is going to be my year. It will be great.

p.s. This book is probably the most hilarious thing I've read this past year. Soo funny for anyone who is farmiliar with the "emo" scene. hahahah.