hit em up

Back home from winter break.

Classes start today.

My break was satisfying. I did a lot more than I usually do haha.

Went to a few clubs and went down to san diego. A friend visited and stayed with me for a few days. Spent New Years with my girl. Overall I had a pretty good time but I am definitely glad to be back.

Don't really have much to say besides the fact that this year will be great. I can feel it.

2K9 is here bitchessss.

How Do You Sleep?

Been thinking about you..

Tripped the other day and when I thought I was going insane your name was the thing that brought me back and calmed me down. I did a lot of thinking.

I thought I was okay now but now I realize that I'm just in denial and I'm just ignoring how I feel. That is probably for the best.

You confuse me as well though. I think you've moved on because it seems pretty obvious but clearly you made a move on me that I resisted surprisingly. I don't know what to think. I used to regret ever telling you the story that was the reason for our breakup. I still kinda do but I don't like to think about that. I used to be so happy.

Not that I'm depressed or anything because you're like my best friend, but it used to be so much better. I still miss you, it's not the same.

Lose Your Head Just For Your Heart

It is almost the end of the quarter. Finals are next week and I am not stressing too much. Things have been good lately and I have actually been mostly happy for the first time since probably september. Things are just better now and I have overcome so much. At some point I didn't think I would, so it is a good thing. My hair is now partially purple as well. I like it a lot. I don't really know what else to say because I feel like I would always ramble about some guy when I would write in here just because I needed to get it out somewhere. I guess people write to get out their emotions and I mostly wrote to relieve stress and sometimes annoyance, although I do sometimes like to write when things are going really well for me too. Just strong emotion is a better way to describe it.

Looking forward to being home for a little while. Until next time. Ciao!

I could never run away from you.

I don't know. I really just don't know.

Why is it so fucking hard for me to let go? I want to, really, I do. But at the same time I really don't. I know there is still something there, I feel it. I still want it to work out somehow..
I miss him so much. I still can't stop thinking about him.

Guys try and hit on me and all that but I pay no mind to them. People wonder why I was ever with H, but they just don't understand. They think I could do better, but they don't know him like I do. He is so amazing.

I just really hope things work out eventually.
Only time will tell. It has been over a month since the split. I should be over him, but these little slip ups have messed with my mind. AND all the drunken flirting has as well..

Until then I will be listening to this every night before bed. My current obsession.

cause there's something between us anyway

its kind of late but i had the sudden urge to write. so i am no longer with h. it's weird. i don't really know what happened which makes it that much harder to understand. also kind of hard to believe because things seemed so good to me and its hard to think that it so easy for him to just break it off like that. but i have no idea what his deal is anyways so i don't even know what to think. i need more explanation and insight as to his position on it all. we will see. i've talked to a lot of people about it and it's kind of hard to hear but i know that they are only trying to help me but it's hard when your heart thinks differently. i know in my heart that i don't want anyone else. and that just makes me seem pathetic because i feel like i am alone in that.