Firsts & Family.

Home for the weekend. Happy to be in LA, even though its raining. Flew in friday morning and hung out with Aaron friday night. I hope it was good. Saturday I got to see my cousin from Puerto Rico and her husband. I haven't seen her in about 6 years. It was fun and I think we're gonna go to visit her in Florida during the summer, should be fun! My blackberry is activated and im loving it soo much! I don't know when the next time I'm gonna be home is, but I hope it's soon. Have to wake up early to take my sister to some screening of a show or something and then I'll probably go shopping with Katie all over LA. Then i leave to go back to SC...ugh.

You were the last high

New look for me. Bangs. I'm still in the process of getting used to them though. Right now I'm just focusing on having a good time and balancing that with school. I think it's going pretty good. My classes aren't too hard but they're not easy this quarter. I go home next weekend and I get to activate my blackberry finally! I'm soo excitedd! I'm also just going to be glad to be back in L.A. because it is truly my home. This place is definetly not. I'm having alot of fun with my new cameras, very exciting. I went and saw Cloverfield last night. It pretty much dissapointed me, even though I didnt know what I expected from it haha. This weekend has been fun, and hilarious. I love these kinds of weekends. Until next timeee, peace.

There's So Much Sun Where I'm From, I Had To Give It Away...

I'm a definite believer that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences in life. These past few nights have definetly proven that to me as well. Things have recently turned around for me but in a good way? At least i hope so. I kept my word and didn't initiate anything, he did it on his own. He actually apologized for being an asshole over break. THANK YOU! He's also been talking to me alot more recently, which is surprising but good and I like it. I guess this kind of means that I'm giving him another chance in a way. I think that he finally realized what a douche he was being and maybe change his ways. The only thing is that i have no idea when I'm going to see him again..which pretty much sucks but it's his fault.

On a happier note, I'm going home in 12 days! How exciting! I honestly love LA too much. There's nothing to do here in SC. Pretty much all i do is hang out with Kate and eat. NOTHING TO DO. Oh, and I finally got a fisheye camera! Sooo excited to start using it! And recently I've been taking alot of pictures with my digital rebel and I think i got Kate hooked on it haha. I love it though. I only have class 2 days a week this quarter. It's amazing cause I pretty much don't do anything all week, which might be a bad thing but now I can start working out more! Right? Right. I also am a soon to be owner of a Blackberry World Edition. Ahhhh! Yessss!

Baby, it's not your sleigh ride.

Staying locked up from now on. Why is it that when you let someone in, they always let you down? I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve, but shit like this makes me stronger. Maybe the distance has finally caught up, but it's weird because just a few days ago things were good...

I'm probably just trippen, but I just don't like having to worry so much. I'm not going to initiate anything anymore, maybe then he'll realize what he's missing out on. I'll make you want me, you'll see. You're gonna work buddy. I'm fucken done.

Always Want What You Don't Understand

So it's 2008. So last night was fun.
I usually stay home with family so it's the first time I've been out for new years haha.
I know, I'm lame. No new years kiss this year but I spent it with the people I care about.
I didn't see the boy, but who cares? I can honestly say that I don't care anymore.
I'm not going to continue to try and try for nothing.
Apparently he makes all the calls because it's like he's pushing me away.
I say that I want to be done with him but I know that if I was in the position to be with him that I would give in. I don't understand why. Why can't I be stronger?
I want to be, and I hate knowing I'll give in just because this has happened before.
He keeps changing his mind too much. He apparently likes me BUT: i never see him, he doesn't talk to me anymore really (unless I initiate a convo), and he's always busy with himself.
I don't know where this is going, it was going in a good direction before and we were probably going to end up together for the summer. That still might happen but it's not necessarily going good right now in my eyes. He might just be oblivious to these things and nothing phases him but I'm through giving him the benefit of the doubt.
I can do better and if he doesn't appreciate me and the effort I'm putting in to try and keep things good, then i'll find someone who does. There are plenty of god guys out there who would, I just have to find them.


UGH, glad that's out haha.


2008 is going to be my year. It will be great.

p.s. This book is probably the most hilarious thing I've read this past year. Soo funny for anyone who is farmiliar with the "emo" scene. hahahah.